A few months ago I decided I was done with my joke of a dead-end job working 4 hours a week in an office (which could double as a dark cave after a shit-storm of office supplies have been strewn carelessly about), where I could literally show up in my Pajamas after not showering for a week and no one would care. After almost 7 years of 'not really working' I was ready for a full-time Part-Time job. Long story short, I was hired at the local college to work in the Health Sciences Division for a grueling 20 hours a week. When I told Parker, she congratulated me by re-naming me Melanie Griffith (a.k.a. Working Girl). Today officially ends my first week back in the professional world. Unfortunately I don't yet have a computer at my desk so I've been doing menial things like using a typewriter to fill out forms in lieu of Microsoft Word and making copies for people. I can say with confidence that after today's brush with the late 80's model electronic typewriter and my run in with a copy machine possessed by Satan, that I was a dead ringer for Jane Fonda in 9 to 5 ("Umm Roz? a little help please!").
Truth be told I'm glad to be back in the workforce, but there is always a downside: like not being up to date on all the important events in the media. Last night I saw a Breaking News story about the Pirate captives and looked at my husband with a "Whatchyou talkin' about Willis" expression. Seriously, Americans now have to worry about being attacked by pirates? Is it 1602 or 2009? Also, are these "Pirates" hiring? Because I'm guessing it's a pretty lucrative and adventurous job.
Also I keep seeing little blurbs on CNN about the Sunday School Teacher and her suitcase with a dead child, but then they always quickly move on to other stories. Wait, I'm so lost. Luckily "People" magazine will have the down low within a week or two. Not to mention I have no idea what's up with Octo-mom, was too tired to watch JT Gummi teeth (with mesmerizing mole on his forehead) get voted off (and then saved) last night on American Idol, and horror of all horrors can no longer drink on "work nights." (Insert Dolly Parton singing the "9 to 5" theme song here).
-val
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