Sunday, July 5, 2009

4th of July Clusterf**k (and the wild week leading up to it)

This past week was literally my first full week off in over a year. It started out completely strange with the not-terribly surprising news of Farrah Fawcett's death. As a kid I loved everything "Charlies Angels", especially the short lived Farrah-era. My brother had the red bathing  suit poster and I had the same on a decal Tshirt (early lesbian tendencies?). I also had the Farrah Barbie Head (as shown below, holy shit) that I thought was the 'figizz' until the first time I applied makeup to it and the shit wouldn't wash off. I ended up  chopping all her hair off and leaving her in the garage while cursing the dumb makers of the el cheapo Farrah head. 

 To hear that Michael Jackson had passed the same day was completely shocking, although he had become incredibly frail and more and more odd over the years he was only 50 and the friggin King of Pop. I kept thinking, "Seriously who would have ever guessed he would die before Liz Taylor, Liza or  Diana Ross for that matter.  As a teen my room was mainly Duran Duran wall to wall however I gave some highly valuable real estate to a Michael Jackson poster, he was still black at the time and had his nose just right but apparently he didn't think so and proceeded to have it chiseled until it looked like a crumpling roman ruin. That year my dad scored tickets to the Jackson 5 Victory Reunion tour stop in Phoenix. I had my outfit ready to go; a black top with my 'Duran Seven and the Ragged Tiger' concert tee underneath, black and white checkered pants, white leather Duran Duran style shoes, and yes one white glove. Sadly the tour was canceled and I would not get to wear my one white glove in public afterall.

All of this news made me feel old and a little sad but alas before I could think about it too much D.W and I headed to LA for a weekend of fabulousness and fun with Val and her hubby and my sis and her boyfriend. We ate and drank like kings, shopped and laughed pretty much the entire time. Our big Star Sightings were Rick Hilton (not the least bit exciting - why wasn't he with his whorish daughter) and Florence Henderson who looks exactly like she did as the mom on the Brady Bunch. WTF she truly has the best plastic surgeon in Beverly hills.

Our much needed restful week ended yesterday with a 5k charity run in the morning followed by what I like to call the "Annual Family Fourth of July Clusterfuck." The party ended up being very fun however my house looked like a frat party and was only missing the pizza on the turntable. DW's brother has 5 kids under the age of 10 including 2-year-old twin boys. While all the kids are incredibly cute, the concept of not coming into a house sopping wet and standing over wood floors is  pretty much completely lost on them. The glass door leading out to the  pool was so sticky dirty it looked like Ray Jay and Kim Kardashian filmed their sex tape against it. I'm still swatting flys in the house from the door opening in and out so much. Also If you want to piss off a 6 year old off throw him into the deep end of a pool cannon ball style while not knowing that he can't swim as my brother did to my nephew.  Vengeance was his when he later threw some free weights from upstairs down the stairs making my cream colored wall now with black weight skid marks look like the side of a drive-thru Daiquiri Hut.

All in all a good time was had by all and no one went home missing a tooth or with a black eye so clusterfuck was indeed a success and DW and I are sure to be in bed by 8 tonight -the night of our 12 year anniversary. 

Party on Garth and happy anniversary Baby !

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