To: Val@takinganap.com
From: Parker@WhateverCutie.com
Re: Those Fat Parents in the stands
Val:
What's the dealio with all the Olympic athletes' mothers being obese? WTF are they standing over the pool eating a Chulupa, fried cheesecake, or perhaps a Denny's skillet while saying, "Great dive son!" (crunch, gulp, throw wrapper in pool). The only thin mom belongs to that gymnast Nastasia Liukin. Daddy Warbucks calls her "Nasty-ah". That skinny bitch and her mom live like 10 minutes from us. My guess is she hasn't tried the queso flameda from a popular nearby restaurant (high fat cheese with chorizo mixed in and broiled.)
Shawn Johnson and her perfect skin, cute freckles and slight overbite adorable smile had me rooting for her all the way instead of "Nasty-ah". Of course Shawn's mom is totally overweight.
We just saw two little piggy moms of divers (the divers, needless to say don't have an ounce of fat) who are completely obese. One was waving a stuffed animal, making her appear even fatter.
I'm nice and for sure these thoughts will make me contract some horrendous thyroid problem that will make me 400 lbs. I will be on Jerry Springer being craned out of my house for all to see, but whatever for now.
All I know is if (and I stress "if") my kid was as fit and focused as an Olympic athlete, it would definitely inspire me to put down the McRib and super sized fries.
To: Parker@WhateverCutie.com
From: Val@takinganap.com
Re: Those Fat Parents in the stands
Oh my god, so funny (and true). Sadly, if my kids were ever in the Olympics (not likely) NBC would undoubtedly cut to a shot of me and Micheal Phelps mom eating Churros with beer chasers in the stands.
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