You Know You're Getting Old When...

• You share a birthday with "Sesame Street"
• You have a hot flash while Christmas Shopping for relatives in fu*cking "Hollister" (I'm never going there again)
• You wake up at 3 am with your very first hemorrhoid. Holy shit how do you people deal with multiple of these.
• You can't get out of a sports car without grunting, moaning and wincing with back pain

And so my 41st year begins!
-Paker