More Things that Piss Me Off

by Parker

• People that write checks and don’t actually take out their check book to start the process until they are fully rung up, and then proceed to balance their check book while you wait. I pretty much want to turn into the Brick-looking Monster Guy from Fantastic Four and clobber them at this point. Literally I have been behind someone at the airport toll booth writing a check. I am a magnet for this.

• People that cannot wait for me for two seconds to go after the light turns green. Granted I'm probably texting, eating or filing my nails or a combo of all three, but really you cant wait two second before you lay on your horn. Really? 

• Spending 45 minutes straightening my Chakka Kahn hair, walking out of the house and having one whiff of Texas humidity make me look like I have homeless woman hair in 5 seconds. 

• Utility bills in Texas. Is it my mortgage or my A/C bill?

• Proudly presenting my coupons at Costco once they ring me up for hundreds of dollars, only to have them say “Umm... sorry Ma'am these don’t start for another week”

• Inevitably something is always broken on our house and its never like 50 bucks to fix ever, but rather at least 2k. I am convinced workers come to our house think 'nice digs' and proceed to ass rape us on our repair. If we say we will get a second quote somehow the first suddenly comes back thousands less. Like they would do a repair at someone’s trailer home and tell them it will 4k to fix that pipe, and 1k to unearth and move the plastic flamingos out of the way.