Monday, January 26, 2009

Making Fun of Others to Make Ourselves Feel Better

When I first saw this picture I thought it was Lance Bass during his N'Sync days. Sorry Mr. King but this look is so not working. Nothing says "not sexy" like a man in his 70's wearing stone washed denim and horror of all horrors (not shown), he is also sporting Ed Hardy high top sneakers. Ummm, I'm pushing 40 and I wouldn't dare attempt to do the Ed Hardy shoe look. Note to Larry: Remember how I made googly-flirty eyes with you at that Jewish Delicatessen a few months ago? (click here for the sordid details). Well, after seeing you in this atrocious outfit, we are so ovah!

Hey Miley - I sported this look before you were even a spermatozoa in you dad's Achy Breaky Heart. Of course it was 1991 and had just downed 18 beers at a frat party and ended up running around campus, climbing trees like a feral jungle child (ripping my black sheer pantyhose, which I wore with black linen shorts, sexy!). In my drunken state I still rocked that look better than you. But that orchid sure is purty.

I'm not going to say anything bad about Jessica Simpson and her slight weight gain. I can totally relate with her yo-yo weight, and we are pretty much rocking the same body. So I say to you, Jessica - keep singing your crappy songs and enjoy those Reuben sandwiches with extra thousand island dressing and curly fries!

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