I love my dad. He's always there for me to shoot the shit, listen to my problems or share an Absolut and tonic. Plus, added bonus, he's never once tried to sell me to a neighbor for $16,000, 160 cases of beer and some meat (although I'm sure he's been tempted).
The classy dude pictured above (Marcelino de Jesus Martinez) is accused of selling his 14-year old daughter to be married to their 18-year old neighbor for the cash, cerveza and meat. Sadly they haven't disclosed just what kind of meat we're talking about. I mean was it frozen hamburger patties from Costco or some prime rib eye from Bristol Farms? Because that really makes all the difference. In Jesus's defense, he says the money was intended as a dowry and the beer and meat were for the wedding. That is so old school!
In retrospect, I guess I should thank my dad for not selling me to a creepy neighbor. I would have made a horrible wife at age 14 (I didn't learn how to iron or do laundry until college). In the meantime as for Mr. de Jesus Martinez: You stay classy hombre.