The Amazing Anxiety Attack

This morning after I took the kids to school, I curled up on my couch and pulled up last night's premier of the "Amazing Race" on my Tivo. I don't usually watch TV during the day (mainly because I spend every night glued to it like Amy Whinehouse to a crackpipe), but it was raining out (with thunder and lightening!) and it just seemed like one of those 'stay at home in front of the telly' days. 

I've always been a big fan of the Amazing Race, and one of these days I may even talk Parker into trying out with me (we would most certainly lose on the first leg of the race - but we'd get a free trip to god-knows-where, probably the poorest Mexican village  on planet earth where Parker would curse like a truck driver around every corner).  

Anyhoo this season started out like all the others, with a cornucopia of crazy characters, including two computer geeks and a old hippie couple who I think accidentally thought they were on a Grateful Dead pilgrimage. Literally, after the first 10 minutes I had to turn the TV off. Watching 10 couples racing down the freeway and running through airports looking for clues, set me into the biggest anxiety-inducing tizzy I've had since 9/11. Jesus, you practically need to take a Xanex to make it through this show. When they had to push a rickety cart filled with Portuguese candy down a cobble street (without spilling the candy) the stress was too much. 

I hit the "Stop and Save" button (I'll go back to the Amazing Race later tonight after a hot bath, glass of wine and a mood stabilizer) and was immediately confronted with the 5 screaming Yentas of "The View" (a show I refuse to watch on purpose) arguing about the $700 billion dollar bailout. Excuse me, but Whoopie Goldberg should stick to her wacky "Sister Act" movies and leave politics (and finances) well enough alone. Something  tells me Whoopi, Joy and the gang didn't graduate from the Wharton School of Business (or any college for that matter) so I wish they'd just shut their trap and stick with interviewing Blake Lively and Shia La Beouf.