Emmys Schemmys! (otherwise known as The Emmyszzzzzzz)

My normal endless viewing of the Emmys was cut short last night due to the Cowboys game, which Daddy Warbucks insisted on watching. Since I have put him through two seasons of "Rock of Love" and three of "Flavor of Love", I don't really have a leg to stand on.

My "Hollywood Executive" little sister actually attended the Emmys and was literally texting me when she was standing behind Ryan Seacrest on the Red Carpet. Sadly his pin head was blocking any chance I had of catching a glimpse of her, and (unlike me) she would never dream of striking the Sister Mary Catherine "Superstar" pose on the red carpet, so I never did see her. 

I did however watch  with my mouth agape at all the Hollywood celebs who are so incredibly thin. Seriously, I don't think Hollywood eats. I am pretty sure none of Hollywood's starlets have had a Wendy's Baconator, biscuits and white gravy or put their perfect pout on a McRib. Their brains would surely go into sensory overload if they did. 

Here are a few more quick thought on the Emmyszzzzz.......

• Julia Louise Dreyfus and Kristen Chenoweth both looked stunning, especially for women in their 40's, which gives me hope.
• Mariska Hargarity looked perfect in canary yellow, however during her interview, in the background I spotted the same color dress floating about. The camera then zoomed in on Teri Hatcher wearing the almost-identical dress (someone's stylist is soooo fired). Teri Hatcher (who I think looks like she would be a turbo be-atch) didn't look nearly as pretty as Mariska however.
• Loved Felicity Huffman's new hairdo.
• Olivia Wilde is sick beautiful and her dress looked amazing on her. Only she and maybe Angelina Jolie could look drop dead in pale mushroom.
• Seeing Heidi Klum in black sequin hot shorts (in HD, no less) made me feel like Jabba the Hut and I wished at that moment that I had Tivoed the first episode of The Biggest Loser, when they were all mega fat in their jogging bras -  to  make me feel better. 
• Tina Fey's speech for her individual award was perfect and somehow I thankfully missed all of the celebrities who made political rants while at the microphone instead sticking to what they know best - reading lines. 
• Lastly, the five "reality" hosts had about as much charisma as a pile of dried dog turd. They too, should stick to what they do best (introducing contestants and saying things like "Deal or No Deal", "Your torch has been extinguished" and "You're Out."

-Parker