Today is the first day of the last year of my thirties. Complete and utter bummer.
Sadly, I've compiled a list of all the things that, at the age of 39, are no longer possible:
- Standing on a bar with a beer in one hand and a shot in the other screaming "Wooooooo"
- Staying out till 3 am and still managing to get to work on time
- Wearing ultra-low rise jeans without having my giant muffin-top spilling over the top
- Admitting to watching any of the following shows: Sweet Sixteen, Rock of Love, The Real World, 90210
- Getting a haircut at SuperCuts (and then thinking "Wow, I look hot!")
- Eating half a pizza at midnight
- Giant hoop earrings made out of plastic
- Waking up without bags under my eyes
- Aspiring to have cellulite free thighs
- Falling asleep with a full-face of make up and not caring
- Letting dirty dishes sit in the sink for more than 3 hours
- Looking halfway decent in thong underwear
Getting old sucks.