Why?

• Can someone tell me why Donald Trump is wearing more makeup than I did on any given Saturday night in the 80's? If only the "cover up" worked on his ego. Hey Donald, the Oompa Loompa's called - they want their burnt seinna pancake makeup back.
• Speaking of Donald Trump, for the love of Christ can someone tell me why tonight's "Celebrity Apprentice" finale is THREE HOURS LONG? Is it "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" or "Celeb Apprentice"? Holy crap, "The Amazing Race" sends people to like 3 different countries in a single episode and somehow they manage to keep it an hour-long show.  
• Why is it that ABC's new summer show "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Outta Here", doesn't actually have a single real celebrity on it? When Heidi and Spencer are the biggest names on the marquee, you haven't got Diddly Caca. Maybe it should be called "I'm Not Really A Celebrity, just Go Ahead and Leave Me Here in the Jungle."
• Can someone tell my why the salesgirl who sold me some shoes at Macy's today (aptly named "Gerda") thought it was completely fine to open-mouth chomp and snap her gum during the entire transaction? Seriously, Flo at Mel's Diner had more tact than Gerda. 
• Lastly, why do mother's always get the names of celebrities and bands wrong? The Saturday Night Live video below totally takes me back to my childhood - where "Culture Club" became "Country Club," and John Travolta was "John Revolta." Then there's the time my mom was snapping her fingers along to the "Glass Tiger" one-hit disaster 'Don't forget Me When I'm Gone'" when she turned around, looked at me and Parker and said, "I really like White Lion." Most recently I am reminded of the time I took her and my kids to the movies and we saw a preview for Jim Carey's next flick and she announced (i.e. screamed at ear-shattering decibels that was heard 3 theaters over) "Ohhhh, I love Rick Carey. He's a Genius!"  -

-Val