Saturday, August 2, 2008

Sorry About the Poverty

I am currently on "vacation" visiting my dad in Utah while Parker is on her way back from a week at Fire Island. Obviously there are a few differences between the two places. For example, in Utah, it's next to impossible to find a bottle of Absolut let alone a Coors light. Luckily dear ol' dad has stocked up spirits the way most of us stocked up on batteries during Y2K - so I'm covered in case a I need a cocktail. I've also seen more than my fair share of Polygamist wives in "Little House on the Prairie" dresses towing seven ginger kids in their shopping cart at Costco.

I usually don't blog while on vacation, but I just read (on the not-so-reliable Worldwide Web) that Brad and Angelina are being paid approx $14 million dollars for the right to publish pictures of their messiah-like twins.
I know, I know Brad and Angie will most certainly donate their motherload to "charity" and feed a multitude of villages with all that cash. Despite all the good it will do, the sheer dollar amount  sickens me; I mean they are ordinary babies. I could understand the $14 million price-tag if it were a picture of Bigfoot (or Bigfoot's bastard twins!), Amy Winehouse at a Health Food store or Clay Aiken dry humping a Sports Illustrated model, but this is morbidly insane. To be fair, it's not Brad and Angelina's fault (we all know they are incapable of doing wrong). It's losers like me that are obsessed with celebrity non-stories (like giving birth) who have perpetuated this new trend. Even more amazing is the fact that Brad and Angie are so rich that they can actually give away $14 million without blinking an eye. Sorry about the poverty Brad and Angie. To make matters worse (or better) Brad and Angie have supposedly named Bono as the twins' godfather. You poor little twins - your life is totally going to suck. Mom and dad squandered away your first modeling gig paycheck to feed some hungry villagers in a hut and your godfather is that unscrupulous n'er do well singer "Bono". Can you say "charmed life"? 

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