Sunday, December 13, 2009

Reclycled Post: Christmas Goodies

Between shopping, baking cookies and just drowning in Christmas Delight (i.e praying we had anti-anxiety medication), we haven't had time to bitch about anything, so in keeping with the Christmas spirit of "re-giving", here is a recycled post from last year. Cheers!

Last night I was watching TV and a commercial came on for "Chia Pet". These things have been around since the beginning of time (ok, 1982) and yet I don't know anyone who has ever owned one. Maybe I'll forgo the homemade fudge and just get all my loved one's Chia Pets instead. They really are the gift that keeps on giving (providing you water your Chia Ram every week).

Better yet, whatever happened to Ronco, the company that brought us the following Christmas gift gems:
  • "Mr. Microphone". I actually got this for Christmas one year. What a piece of shit.
  • "Glass Froster" (because putting a beer mug in the freezer for 10 minutes by yourself is such a pain in the ass)
  • "Smokeless Ashtray" (something my parents desperately needed when I was growing up. )
  • The uber-genius "Inside the Shell Egg Scrambler" (because we all know scrambling an egg ouselves can lead to carpal tunnel syndrom).
  • Ronco (or was it K-Tel?)also put out amazing album compilations full of the hottest Disco hits of the all time. I actually got the following album for my birthday in the mid-70's:

 - Star <span class= "Star Trackin' 76" was on constant rotation on my portable "Winnie the Pooh" turntable. I even put a round ball of tinfoil atop one of my mom's knitting needles, creating a make-shift microphone, so I could play DJ and announce the songs as they were being played. Just call me a young Samantha Ronson (but not as butch).

Anyone over the age of 35 will probably remember these fantastic Ronco ads from Christmases past. If you've never had the pleasure of actually seeing a Ronco product in action, you are in for a treat (check out the duds too - awesome):

Mr. Microphone
I Love the black guy who can simaltaneously boogie-on-down that steep hill, sing and carry a mini boom box all at the same time. I also just found out that the guy at the beginning of the commercial (the winner who actually pulls the Mr. Microphone out of his coat jacket) is none other than Nat - the owner of the Peach Pit on Beverly Hills 90210 ( I know, TMI). That is one talented thespian.

The "Auto Cup" was the shit, not a drop of vodka would spill from that full-proof device. But it was the smokeless ashtray that I so coveted as a child (you'd understand if you've ever stepped foot in my childhood home). Unfortunately the $16.88 price tag was too steep for my 11-year old budget.


it's me! said...

OMG - I cannot breathe. I just read a bunch of your posts - I hope you're working on a novel cuz you know you've got "it", dontcha?? Great stuff...!

Anonymous said...

Val and Parker,

I can't believe that the texts weren't flying back and forth between you two over the first comment. I agree by the way, you are the best.