Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Enough with Fire Crotch Bomb Guy

Is anyone else completely sick of the excessive media attention of Mr Nigerian Bomb-in-my-britches? Granted this could have been a total nightmare, but it wasn't. He failed and if we keep obsessing over it the terrorists get the attention they so desperately want. Seriously, if I see one more blurry shot of him being apprehended in his dirty white Hanes tee shirt, I'm gonna lose my shit. Its 2009, didn't any of the passengers whip out their iPhones or Blackberry and get a better pic? I thought by now the entire ordeal would be up on You Tube set to some old Gangsta Rap.

That being said, naturally I have to put my own two-cents in about this crazy mo-fo.

1) Rumor has it Mr Hot Pants was educated at a London University and came from a wealthy family (although his dad was a Nigerian Banker which is code for "Spam email con man who sent you an email about a dead relative leaving you millions but first send him your life savings in unmarked bills). Had the wannabe bomber grown up in a hot desert cave without the finer things in life (you know like VH1 reality TV and the Bedazzler), I might understand the appeal of sticking 80 grams of exploding powder in my Fruit of the Looms, but this guy had it made, which is just plain crazy.I have a degree from the Univ of Arizona with a degree in Radio Television but I don't care if George Clooney promised to marry me for eternity in the afterlife, I'm pretty sure nothing could convince me that shoving a stick of TNT up my yahoo was a good and noble idea.

2) I'm not exactly how brainwashed he had to be in order to actually be convinced to put a bomb in his buns, but I can't help but wonder if on the way to the airport and during the 2-hour plus check in time that International Flights usually take he was praying to Allah (or whoever) "Please don't let me fart, please don't let me fart."I can guarantee you he didn't spend his pre-boarding time having the Burrito Platter at the Amsterdam airport's Chili's.

But enough about hot pant bomber CNN, I want my fun end-of-the-year moments. And for the love of God Larry King can we drop the three day marathon of Ben Stein and Ron Paul arguing about airport screenings and get to the bottom of Brittany Murphy's death already? Thank you!

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