Friday, January 16, 2009

Bitches on A Plane


The fact that the plane didn't sink to the bottom of the filthy Hudson river  with the passengers trapped inside is truly a miracle. That being said, once everyone was safely rescued, Parker sent me a text message which read:   If I was on that plane, I would have grabbed my Louis Vuitton carry on, and shoved all the old people out of my way as I ran to the exit door.

Had Parker and I been on that plane (not likely since I can't imagine a scenario where we'd ever be flying together to North Carolina) I imagine us standing on the wing while having the following conversation:

Parker:  I  just hope the airline plans on getting some divers down there to get my checked baggage. My jewelry isn't going to swim itself to the surface.

Val:   Jesus Christ I'm cold. Does anyone have a god-damned blanket?

Parker: Crap, my Gucci slides are getting wet. Could this river water be any dirtier?

Val:   I could really go for some Hot Chocolate. Do you think the flight attendant brought her beverage cart out on the wing? Actually, a martini would be great right about now.

Parker: Here comes the boats. Oh great, I do NOT want to be rescued by that dumpy tug boat. Because I do want to get tetanus from a rusty fishing hook.

Val: Oh my god, there will probably be cameras when we get to shore. Do you have any lipstick? Does this life vest make me look fat?

1 comment:

framboise said...

So funny. I was thinking the same thing that i would have grabbed my purse or at least shoved all my good makeup and Neimans credit card into my pocket.