Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Idol Chatter. Whathisname?


Although I've been watching American Idol religiously since it started, for some reason this year I'm having trouble remembering any of the contestants' names. After last night's kinda boring show, I've given up completely and assigned new nicknames for them all. 




Bloated Elvis












JT Gummi Teeth













1984 called and wants it's hairstyle back













Hispanic Kelly Clarkson













Robert Downey Jr. in Weird Science
(without the gap)










Crest White Strips













Tapioca Butt












Milquetoast








I have no business calling Lil Rounds "Tapioca Butt" considering my behind looks like a sock filled with marbles, but c'mon who was the sadist behind the scenes who said, "That dress looks terrific on you."? Girl needed  a  Spanx intervention. And, I actually really liked Milquetoast's version of his song - except that I can't even remember the name of it. I was going to put up a picture of Anoop and call him "Kumar goes to Whitecastle" but I didn't want to offend anyone and also Anoop is about as exciting as the dried out turd on my front lawn. Besides he is probably going home. Either him or JT Gummi Teeth.
-val

2 comments:

Jenn said...

I'm a little offended by "JT Gummi Teeth" I have a gummy smile and we really can't help it! I'm embarrassed enough as it is, I don't need other people pointing it out.

Way to make me feel bad about my insecurities, ladies. =p

Val and Parker said...

Sorry Jenn - didn't mean to offend. Don't feel bad I have giant horse teeth and tapioca butt too. We all have our crosses to bear in life! - val