Sunday, April 19, 2009

Idol or Bust: Save a Seat for Me Simon!

When American Idol started last year I looked at my 11-year old daughter and said, "This is the year. Come hell or high water, we are going to a  taping of Idol." After all, my dad always told me you have to have "goals" in life. 

The problem, for those  of you who aren't familiar with the intricacies of American Idol, is that it is essentially the "Hope Diamond" of studio audience tickets. Unless you are the Christina Applegate, David Spade, Paula's pill dealer, or a member of Anoop's fraternity, you are screwed. Needless to say I tried a few connections: my husband was working in LA all last year and whenever I begged him to pull some strings and find us some Idol tickets and he just rolled his eyes. Even Parker's network executive sister deemed Idol tickets "impossible." I even entered the Good Morning Fox LA Idol ticket giveaway every Tuesday and Wednesday (I know, am I 13 or 39?), but with no luck.

I had just about given up on ever seeing a taping of Idol, when just last Friday I received the golden-chalice of all emails. It was a confirmation that I had been cleared from an Idol ticket wait list (one I'd joined more than  a year and a half ago; literally so long ago that I'd completely forgotten about it) and had tickets to next Wednesday's show.

Of course in life nothing is easy and neither is the process of going to American Idol. The ticket had a 2-page list of instructions which included the following no-nos:
  • No purses, backpacks or bags. Everything must be in your pockets. 
  • No jeans, tee shirts or shirts with logos. No flip flops and No wearing white.
  • No cell phones, cameras or recording devices of ANY kind. 
  • Dress "hip" like you are going  out to dinner (Do they mean a dinner at Applebees? Or dinner at Spago? Because that makes all the difference!)
  • No one under 14 will be admitted. 
Wait, what? Ella is only 11. But for crying out loud I promised her she could attend and if I have to whore  her up like Jodi Foster in Taxi Driver just to get her in the door, then that's what I'll do. I've seen Teri Hatcher and Heather Locklear sitting next to their tween daughers and by golly if Heather can do it, so can I.

Needless to say, this Wednesday we are going to get our hair done (real lady like), and put on our best, dark, no logo, hip (not Taco Bell night) outfits and head on up to LA to be part of Idol History. I of course am delusional in thinking that I will be in the first three rows somewhere behind Randy or Kara, where I will be tempted to make the "Rocker" sign with my right hand while mugging for the camera with my tongue sticking out like Gene Simmons. (My husband told me that under no circumstances was I allowed to do this). Also, since it is "Disco  Week" I am looking forward to a complicated choreographed dance number (one that rivals the Brady Bunch's "Sunshine Day") to "Disco Inferno." Perhaps they'll even be a guest appearance by one of the Gibb brothers? (or at least Tony Orlando and Dawn).

Only time will tell. Stay tuned for my Idol experience later this week!

NOTE: I found the above picture online and can I just say that this little harlot is breaking so many rules. First I'm pretty sure she is not 14, secondly she is wearing a tee shirt WITH a logo on it (an American Idol logo, but still). I just bet she is also wearing flip flops and carrying a ginormous Hannah Montana purse. She definitely does not look like she is getting ready to go to dinner at Spago!

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