Monday, January 18, 2010

Golden Globe text-a-thon

The Golden Globes were a little dull this year (although we do love Ricky Gervais). Also, Parker came across this picture of Bjork in this amazing dress. You can really never go wrong with a portrait of Michael Jackson bedazzled on your skirt.

During the show (like we do every year) we rapidly texted each other back and forth with our thoughts about the various celebrities. Some wine was involved as well. Here are some of our thoughts:

V: Julia Roberts is totally wasted. Sorry about the bottle of Cristal you chugged in the limo with Tom Hanks and his wife (who looks like a 1800's spinster).

P: Now that Mo'Nique has won, does that mean she won't be doing the third season of "Charm School." Crap, we'll never know what will become of Pumpkin.

V: When is Nicole Kidman going to remove that ginourmous stick that's permanently wedged up her ass. Lighten up Nicole. Of course she can't show emotion so it's hard to tell if she's happy or mad.

P: What's up with "Dexter's Hat"?
V: Umm, its called cancer, cutie.
P: Oops.

P: Juliana Margolis is so 1992
V: And I have a Christmas ornament that looks exactly like the top of her dress

P: Cher looks like she just stepped off the set of "Ice Castles"
V: More like "Blades of Glory" because she looks like a male ice skater

V: Harrison Ford is so crusty. Bad mood much? Go home and roll naked in all your money with Calista - that will cheer you up.

V: Julia Roberts might also be stoned. She probably toked up with Paul McCartney in an alley during one of those annoying Chrysler commercials.

V: I heard Paul McCartney's girlfriend is 50 - she seriously doesn't look a day over 35. The miracle of Paul's money perhaps?
P: Ugggh, she's ugly (not). Why do you even know this???
V: A bad gossip magazine or US magazine

P: Brow lift alert on Jessica Lange
V: True that. She can't even blink. She was my idol back in 1976 - I wanted to grow up and look exactly like her. I guess I have some plastic surgery in my future - if I want to live out my "dream".

V: Meryl Streep said in an interview that she's never had Botox. She's a great actress and a freaking Liar.
P: They are so not going to cut HER out with music. She had more wrinkles in "Silkwood"
V: No kidding. I look like an old Treasure Map compared to her.

P: Geez, even Helen Mirren is so thin. Also they are totally serving dinner at the Globes and no one is eating - not even Precious. Her and Mo'Nique are probably going to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles after the show
V: Unless they have a bag under the table. (we are both so going to Hell for that one). The girl who plays Precious is so happy to be there - she seems sweet.

V: I seriously can't stand Chloe Sevigny. She seems like a raging bitch.
P: I am switching over to 24 know. Peace out.

V: Go dry hump another Christmas tree, Keifer.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Val and Parker:

I love your blog. I linked to this post in my blog.

I am usually in tears when I finish reading your posts.

Keep it up,