Monday, January 25, 2010

Oh Diddy! You So Crazy

Today my stomach churned in disgust as I read that P. Diddy threw his son Justin Dior (yes that's his real name) a Million Dollar Sweet 16 Birthday party. And naturally, it will be aired on MTV's upcoming season of "Sweet Sixteen" (a.k.a. "Armageddon is Near") But here's the kicker: he also gave him a $350,000 Mercedes Maybach (with personal driver) and $10k cash.

I can only imagine if Parker or my parents had even spent a cool $2,000 on either of our parties. Insert a visual of us in 1986 at the Wildcat Cat House (on teen night) with a 4 foot Duran Duran ice sculpture, backlit in pink neon, dancing on the picnic tables while a DJ in a Hawaiian bow tie played "You Spin Me Round Round" by Dead or Alive. Parker would be wearing a Lily Reuben sequined $300 cocktail dress with ginormous shoulder pads (the bigger the shoulders the higher the status symbol... plus her mom worked there and got a discount). I would be rockin' one of my mom's Liz Clairborne black polyester dresses, Esprit silver belt, dripping with rhinestone jewelry and about 10 coats of Cover Girl Ocean Breeze Sparkle blue eye shadow.

Meanwhile, Justin Dior is most likely wearing a $4,000 Christian Dior custom tuxedo. Hmmmm, that Diddy kid isn't going to be too obnoxious when he gets older. I take that back; I'm pretty sure he already is obnoxious. I also found the picture above, of a very humble "Justin Dior" sitting in the rafters overlooking his party subjects on a red throne with a red and gold crown. He probably had a 30-karat diamond scepter as well.

Of course I joke about our parents because we were each showered with sparkly, hand-me-down rides when we turned 16: Parker got a kick-ass shit brown 1982 Chrysler K-Car (4 door), while I hot rodded in my grandmother's 1974 army-green, sporty 2-door Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. We were clearly, the "Justin Dior Combs/Diddys"of our generation.

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