To: Val@cookingmacandcheese.com
From:Parker@watchingidol.com
Re: Idol & White Man's Kryptonite (Denise Richards)
Watching the Idol "Finally" (Finale). So glad that David C. won as I'm not sure I could take a media blitz of David Archuleta's blank stares and lightning quick answers to all those tough questions that would have been thrown at him. First star sighting of the night was Janice Dickinson sitting front row (alongside her dealer, no doubt). Carrie Underwood came out in basically a white double breasted jacket and heels. I sat (lay) there in my JCrew tee with holes and baked bean juice stains as she sang (no big surprise here) about whiskey, honkey tonk bars and one night stands. I was completely mesmerized by her Barbie-sized legs. The whole thing made me feel like Roseanne in those pictures from Vanity Fair ages ago where she was wrestling with Tom Arnold in the mud.
By the way, have you seen Denise Richards all over the talk shows talking about Charlie Sheen's sperm? Holy 'White Man's Kryptonite', she has 2 kids and should really keep her BriteSmile trap shut. Sperm or no sperm, she is one unstable bitch. Either way it's good stuff and you guessed it, "Complicated".
To: Parker@watchingidol.com
From: Val@helpingwithhomework.com
RE: Idol & White Man's Kryptonite
Yes, I have seen Denise "Don't want no Sheen Sperm" Richards making her rounds. How can such little brain power produce so much entertainment? My Tivo will be working overtime this weekend between her new "Complicated" show and "Living Lohan."
Was it me or did George Micheal leave you with a creepy, dirty feeling after he sang on Idol? What I really want to know is how did he get his hands on my moms Foster Grants from 1979? She must have left them in a park bathroom stall in London at 3 am.
I wonder if David Archuleta's dad is going to Kick His Ass for not winning?
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