Our family needs another electronic gadget like Brad and Angelina need more publicity. So when my daughter begged me for a Wii this year (because her MacBook, Sidekick cell phone, Nintendo DS, 25-inch color TV with basic cable and her brother's XBox 360 simply doesn't provide enough entertainment to fill her empty life), I simply nodded and smiled, all the while thinking "Not a chance in hell sweetie". So I was thrilled when a few weeks ago my mother in law hinted that she was buying us a Wii for the whole family to share. Great, if the in laws are going to spring for the Wii, I thought I'd break down and buy Ellie the "Wii Fit", which is some sort of $100 attachment that allows you to do virtual yoga or something like that. You know, because following along with those Yoga DVDs is so hard.
Cut to the Sunday before Christmas: Because nothing says "Christmas Spirit" like waiting till the last minute to buy your children's gifts. Here I was at Best Buy, completely lost and meandering through the merchandise like an 89 year old with dementia. Honestly, finding a Wii Fit in that store was harder than finding a crack rock in a snow storm (not that I would know). I eventually waved down a sweaty, out-of-breath, disgruntled clerk who informed me that they were plum out of the Wii Fit but that they MIGHT get some in on Tuesday (as in Tuesday, the 23rd of December). Gee thanks Corky (that could have been his name), your uncertainty about the next shipment of new Wii Fits gives me plenty of time for "Plan B". I should have gone from store to store and searched in vain for the last remaining available Wii Fit (like Arnold Schwarzenegger searching for "Turbo Man" in that crappy Christmas movie "Jingle All the Way"), but I'm fresh out of anti-anxiety medicine and would rather eat broken glass than deal with the crowds.
When I got home (basically empty-handed and frazzled), my daughter Ellie dragged me to her laptop to show me the latest gadget she is craving for Christmas. As of 2:45 pm that day, the Wii craze is passe - Ellie wants the new Flip Video camera. Not a chance in hell sweetie.