Tuesday, November 24, 2009

That's Hot

I was cleaning the house today, in preparation of Thanksgiving and listening to the 70's channel on my satellite music station when I looked up from my mopping and came face to face with this amazing flash-from-the-past  picture. I immediately had to take a snapshot with my cellphone:

For those of you who may not be familiar with the Rhythm and Blues (i.e. Disco) sounds of the 70's, this hot group of studs are known as the "Ohio Players". And while the Ohio Players are most famous for their one-hit wonder "Rollercoaster' they should have been known world-wide for their sense of style. Sure the 70's were all about shimmer and spandex but Ohio Players have taken it to a whole new level.

The hunkiest of the group has to be the guy on the left. Who knew satin dolphin shorts, spandex hose, a half-shirt and black knee high boots could look so breathtaking on a man of that stature. The porn stash and serial killer eyeglasses complete the look. Did he lose a bet?

The guy next to him clearly just got back from a Jazzercise class, or a bath house in San Francisco. And then there is Mr. Fabulous in the full body spandex jumpsuit with bejeweled collar. Of course no one is paying any attention to his collar because of the enormous "elephant-in-the-room" bulge fighting with all its might to break free of its spandex prison. As for his Afro? It makes Lionel Richie look like an amateur. The band also features a part-time boxer, a gigolo/extra from "Boogie Nights", a guy with epaulets the size of shovels a black polo player with graying beard, a.k.a. "the conservative one."

Clearly there was a time when we looked at these guys and didn't bat an eye. I can't help but wonder if 30 years in the future, my daughter will be pointing and laughing at me in a photo wearing my "boyfriend jeans" and long sleeve plain black Gap tee that I wear three times a week (when I'm not in drawstring sweats).

Incidentally, the Ohio Song that was playing while this picture flashed on the screen was called "Too Tight." Too tight indeed.


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