Friday, February 20, 2009

Travis: The Ape Shit Chimp


This story, while very sad (the dismembering of a person, shooting of an animal - never funny) does have some humor in a sick way. First of all, who has a chimp as a pet? A little monkey, maybe but to own a full size friggin chimp you would have to be a whack job to say the least. Also, there is no way a chimp owner could possibly live in a clean house - for sure there are dirty dishes in the sink, you smoke two packs a day and you have giant chimp diapers with chimp shit in them lying around. Don't even get me started on the fact that she named him Travis. Is he a country singer in Wranglers or a chimp?

Even if the owner was channeling "Every Which Way But Loose" it is still very odd. Then your best friend pays a visit to your Chimp-Dung-Taj-Majal sporting a new hairdo and the cujo-ape doesn't recognize her and proceeds to rip her face off ala Montecore/Siegfried and Roy. Giant white tigers weren't meant to be bedazzled and put on stage in Vegas with spot lights and chimps weren't meant to sit on a couch in a trailer watching Judge Judy.
-Parker

3 comments:

Jenn said...

I live about 15-20 minutes from the town in which it happened. While it is sad, I'm slightly amused that this story is EVERYWHERE and I live right near it. This sort of thing only happens in places like Texas, Kansas, or some other hick/country bumpkin state.

I hear they're going to give her a face transplant.

Chad said...

Seriously, check this out.
http://www.beforeitscool.com/travis-went-explitive-p-166.html

Anonymous said...

TRAVIS THE CHIMP GOT WHAT HE HAD COMING TO HIM