American Idol: Part Deux

Because being inches from the stage at an actual taping of American Idol a few weeks back wasn't enough, my daughter and I decided that we needed more Idol action and purchased tickets for the "Idols on Tour" concert at Staples Center. Yesterday was the big day and here are a few highlights of our "American Idol Experience: Part Deux":

• You never know when you'll hit a traffic jam in LA, so we left a 3 1/2 hours early only to arrive at Staples Center a whopping 2 1/2 hours early. The good news is we were able to park curbside within 100 feet of the entrance to the Staples Center for the bargain basement price of $25. The bad news: trying to avoid backing over a gaggle of 50 year old women wearing "I Love Gokey" tee shirts when the concert was over.

• I took a picture with my Blackberry (or was it a high-powered Olympus?) which I emailed to Parker to show her our seats. I also took some video and I might as well filmed the Poltergeist television. Hey Blackberry: Thanks for the great phone camera and video quality on the new "Storm" phone (photo result below):

• As much as I was expecting a complete cheesefest, the show was actually amazingly produced and a vocal coach has clearly gotten their hands on some of the contestants (i.e Oil Rig Guy, Tattoo Sleeve girl, and Blind Guy - actually he still sounded like the guy from Mike and the Mechanics).

• The show opened with Oil Rig Guy (Michael) who actually had a great voice, but sang Country songs, which were completely lost on me. Midway through his twangy twang I totally came to the realization that just a little over a week ago, Michael Jackson's solid gold casket was sitting right in front of the stage and I couldn't help but be distracted by a vision of dead Michael laying there as the Oil Rig guy rocked on.

• The light show was not unlike being at a three hour rave while on acid (not that I would know) and by the time Gokey made it onstage I had to sit in my chair and massage my temples through his entire rendition of Michael Jackson's PYT: Pretty Young Thing. Sorry Gokey, MJ did it much better - please stick with the bluesy songs.

• Note to anyone attending a large indoor concert: Please get your goddamned Nachos, Wieners, Beer, Wetzel Pretzels et al. before the show begins. Holy Crap I've never seen so many people maneuver up and down stadium stairs for a trayfull of $8 Oscar Meyer Wieners in my life. Mid way thru the concert I wanted so badly to scream "get your snacks and move on losers! Move On!" Secondly, if you are a man, please (for the love of god) don't douse yourself with Axe body spray when you know you are going to be surrounded by people squished tighter than a full Southwest Airlines flight. Thank god the lady on the other side of us had a Pretzel-wrapped-hot-dog with relish (and nacho dipping sauce) to mask the stench. Meanwhile, I can proudly say that the Staples Center had several FULL bars, a ton of Concession stands (including a California Pizza Kitchen) AND a Margarita Stand - and I stayed clear of it all!

• Allison and Adam made the price of admission ($80 per ticket, yikers!) completely worth while. When Adam came onstage, I immediately thought, "Holy dragqueen, I haven't seen that much turquoise eye shadow since my senior yearbook picture." If there was ever any doubt about Adam's "sexuality" while the show was on, he cleared it up for us last night (he was over-the-top greatness). Adam reminded me of a modern-day Freddy Mercury with a Be-dazzler. I have to be honest and say, Adam and Allison are the true talents of the bunch and have a ton of charisma and they rocked the place hard (even though I was near seizure from the constant Rave Lights by this point).

• Kris (the closing act) was pretty darn impressive in a boy next door on ludes kind of way. He closed the show with Hey Jude (again quite good - but don't mess with a Paul McCartney song). As he finished, I was ready to make a beeline to my car, but not before the entire cast came out and completely murdered a Journey song.

-VAL