Friday, July 3, 2009

The Holy Terrors of NY

I've managed to break away from the "Michael Watch" in order to view the first two TIVO'd episodes of "NY Prep" on Bravo. For those of you lucky bastards who aren't familiar with the show, "NY Prep" revolves around 5 or 6 egocentric spoiled adolescents living in NY. These whippersnappers apparently have no parents and are free to party, dine and shop at their leisure without a care in the world. 

Watching this tragedy (and hating myself for it), I started to imagine what a reality show based on my high school in the 1980's would be like - and here's a rundown and comparison of the two shows:

Instead of "NY Prep", my high school reality nightmare  would be called "Tucson Parochial" - based on kids attending a Catholic high school in a hot desert city. 
  • The kids of "NY Prep" have personal shoppers at Barney's NY, donning the newest Prada and Chloe line: the kids of "Tucson Parochial" find themselves shopping at Contempo Casuals and are decked out in amazing acid washed zipper jeans and polar fleece pullovers.
  • The kids of  "NY Prep" often dine at Nobu and cozy French restaurants on the upper east side: The kids of "Tucson Parochial" prefer to chow down at the food court at Tucson Mall, frequenting Hot Dog on a Stick.
  • The kids of "NY Prep" throw parties at hip Japanese karaoke bars and cool downtown lofts: The kids of "Tucson Parochial" meet up in the wash below Costco for late night bonfire and beer (Paps Blue Ribbon) parties.
  • The kids of "NY Prep" have private drivers who cart them around the city in large black Cadillac Escalades: The kids of "Tucson Parochial" drive 4x4 trucks with KC lights or their grandmother's inherited Oldsmobile or K-Car.
Oh the comparisons could go on for days. And, while I (sadly) will continue to watch Bravo's latest staged reality show, I am starting to think that "Tucson Parochial" would be a much better show.

By the Way - if one of the students of "Tucson Parochial" were to show up anywhere wearing the brown suit with piped trim (as modeled by "PC" above) he would be stoned to death in the parking lot with Cholla Jumping Cactus.

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