Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Suck it Subway!

Despite Subway spending a gazillion dollars marketing their "$5 Footlong" and now some "$2.99 Bullshit Sandwich", I never seem to get out of there for less than ten bucks. WTF? They must charge $5 for extra meat (aka two slices of salami on the otherwise healthy 6 inch regular turkey sub I always order). And while I'm bitching, "Did I ask for shredded lettuce (brown Easter grass) on my sub or dollops of fois gras terrine?" I continue on an almost daily-basis to let Subway ass-rape me with their rip off sandwiches. If Jared was there I would throw my $2.89 ice tea on his chubby weak chin face.

Ahh...I feel better now.

Speaking of getting ass-raped (price wise) I had to follow in Val's cougar footsteps and forked out $80 to see the American Idol Tour later this week in Dallas (where there will definitely be "Cougars a plenty"). Val has already warned me that the light show will give me a migraine similar to the one I got after watching "Spy Kids 3-D" with my niece and nephew. She also informed me the best time to get my nacho fix is when Anoop belts out Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative".

I figure seeing Allison live and Adam singing a David Bowie song will be worth it. If not, there is always the goodness of a $6 Arena Draft beer in a wax cup.


1 comment:

framboise said...

Love the subway diatribe. I eat there multiple times a week yet would throw away those ingredients if they were in my fridge. Thanks for the mushy tomatoes and 2 ounces of turkey, Jared!