Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Our (Absolute) Last Post about Michael Jackson

I actually considered taking a personal day from work just so I could stay at home on the sofa and watch the memorial, but my newfound work ethic beat out over my natural tendency towards laziness. I did however take a few minutes at work to peruse the MSN pictures from the day and here were my initial thoughts, which I immediately emailed to Parker:

Sorry about the solid gold casket (that costs more than most homes in the Mid west) and the ugly spray of red roses.

I'm not kidding I think the family slathered those kids with dark Ban de Soleil to make them look like they could actually be Michael's biological children, because the three of them now look mulatto and the oldest son's hair is now black - it was light brown a few weeks ago. 

Brooke Shield's looks gorgeous and seems totally sweet. I hate that bitch

His backup dancers for his upcoming tours are doing a song and dance number - all the while thinking to themselves "Crap I need a new gig, stat"

The Cou de gras is a picture of Corey Feldman in the audience dressed in full MJ garb (fedora, Capn' Crunch jacket, etc.). I can't see his hand but I'd bed my left tit that he is wearing a sparkly glove!

And when did the Rev. Al Sharpton become manorexic? Geez Rev. Al - have a frickin' Quiznos now and then.

There is a pic of his daughter Paris totally breaking down on stage and I am now sitting at my desk with tears rolling down my face. 

Parker responded with a snort about how sweet little Paris at least could cry into Janet's soft, millionaire bosom - something most orphans are unable to do.

After work, I sat Shiva for the Anderson Cooper 2 hour special on the memorial and cried like a baby the entire time (I blame the PMS, as usual). The media played MJ's daughters tearful goodbye no less than 17 times last night and I bawled every time. I also cried when Jennifer Hudson sang. That girl has some pipes (yet somehow lost out on American Idol - I think Bucky Covington got further then her). 

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