If you watch only one online clip today, you must click on the above to catch a glimpse of the opening credits of the Worst Show. Ever. I caught the above clip when watching this weeks episode of "The Soup" (one of the best shows, ever) and my son and I were literally rolling on the floor with laughter. I was both disgusted and intrigued, immediately setting my DVR to "Series Record" so I wouldn't miss an agonizing second. For those of you who are not familiar with this hot mess (i.e. all of you) "Outsiders Inn" is the latest reality show, featuring Maureen McCormick (a.k.a. Marcia Brady), Carnie "Will do any show for cash" Wilson and Bobby "Crackie" Brown. Did I mention it was on CMT (Country Music Televison)? Until this weekend, I wasn't even aware that this cable network existed. Sadly, it does - and it has some other humdinger shows like "Redneck Wedding" and "Country Star" (with guest "celebrities" Sebastian Bach, Lorenzo Llamas and Sean Young). Who knew?
Hard as I tried, I couldn't even make it through one lousy episode of "Outsiders Inn". The show revolves around Maureen, Carnie and Bobby - a virtual 'Three's Company' of wacky characters who are running a Country Inn in the deep-woods of Tennessee. The show is even more staged than "The Hills" and at one point I think I could see Maureen's eyes rotating back and forth as she read from a cue card. Later in the episode Maureen finds Bobby Brown in a guest bathroom cleaning the tub with a toothbrush and bottle of Fantastik (something that would clearly only happen if he were on a meth binge, so I suppose its plausible). Later, Carnie comes in to announce (in a rehearsed voice that is more wooden than an oak tree) that she has a rather large and painful "hemorrhoid". Later there is a talent show (featuring some Tennessee folk that stereotypically look like they just stepped off the set of "Hee Haw") and the tension grows as Carnie's medical crisis (a.k.a. the giant hemorrhoid on her ass) becomes critical.
When my husband Tom, who was patiently sitting next to me as I watched, looked at me like I had lost my marbles, I knew it was time to turn it off (and cancel the Series Record). Sorry "Outsiders Inn" - I tried, but the magical chemistry of Crackie Brown, Marcia Brady and the that Reality Whore Carnie was just too much for me to stomach.
No worries, I'm sure they will all show up on another amazing Reality Show in the near future.