Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Idol Thoughts: Rock N Roll Hoochie Coo

Parker's Thoughts:
  1. I'm madly in love with Alison and Adam and may throw my remote at the TV if they don't go to the finale together.
  2. Someone needs to tie Kara up and feed her a Fried Shrimp Po-Boy with extra mayo stat. She has become more alien-lollipop-faced each week. I saw her once on an interview saying that she "once had an eating disorder." No Shit, Sherlock. 
  3. I will say Kara has required Paula to up her game and stay off her meds this year. She has yet to think that someone sang twice when they have only gone once. Impressive!
  4. Danny Gokey (aka Robert Downey Jr. without the edge) murdered Aerosmith - although he thought he did great.
Val's Thoughts:
  1. Is it wrong that I actually like Adam's version of "Whole Lotta Love" better than the Led Zepplin rendition? (Side note: I once saw Led Zepplin lead singer Robert Plant at a hotel I worked at and he looked like a homeless dude on a 7-day crack binge. I'm just saying)
  2. I'm pretty sure that I purchased Paula's gold-plated star-with-attached-rainbow earrings at Contempo Casuals back in 1984. I paid a whopping $14.95 for those little fu**kers. (Today you can probably buy them from Paula's Home Shopping Network collection for $39.99). (Side note; I once saw Paula Abdul at a TGI Fridays wearing a hideous Bustier and ordering the E-Coli Chicken Salad. Again, I'm just saying). 
  3. Speaking of Paula: She just came out in Redbook (or some other Menopausal magazine) saying that up until last November, she had a raging painkiller addiction. No Shit Sherlock, indeed.
  4. Slash: Umm...Thanks for all the warm fuzzies and good advice, Slash. Don't hold back now. While you're at it Mr. "Wordsmith", have another hit of heroin and a shot of Jack Daniel's.
  5. The Duet with Danny and Kris: Hey Danny, you might want to put on your contacts before belting out Styx's "Renegade". Those metro sexual glasses from LensCrafters are so NOT Rock N' Roll.
  6. Hmmm... Is it Kris Allen or Mick Jagger? Kris is cute but has about as much Rock N' Roll stage presence as a dry biscuit. (Sorry Kris).
  7. Danny Gokey Does Aerosmith: First of all, say it don't spray it, Danny. Nice rocker outfit. Is he a freaking beeper salesman circa 1992? JC Penney pinstripe pant/vest ensemble: $49.99. Vintage purple oxford from Chess King: $19.99. Handcuff chain necklace from Spencer: $16.99.  Sounding like you are being put feet-first into a wood chipper during the last note of Aerosmith's "Dream On": Priceless.
  8. Alison and Adam's Duet: AMAZING. Of course Foghat always sounds great after 3 Vodka cocktails.

1 comment:

angelsroy33 said...

Alright you guys,...you know how much I LOVE yous, and how obsessed I am w/ this blog, but you say one more bad thing about Danny Gokey and it will be war!!! You hear me?! Don't make me go all Cowell-ass on ya'll!!! :)
I still love you guys!I'll forever be a fan,...but PLEASE leave D.G. alone,...okay?,...PLEASE?