Friday, May 29, 2009

I Prefer My Jesus Extra Crunchy

Today, while perusing the news (or the "not really news"), I was encountered with yet another "Jesus sighting" on (in?) a food product. This time a women in South Wales claims the image of Jesus appeared on the inside lid of a Marmite jar while making toast for her son. First of all, what the hell is Marmite? Secondly, call me cynical but I'm guessing if Jesus decided to make an appearance he'd do it up classy and appear in a bottle of Skippy Extra Crunchy or a Taco Bell grilled quesadilla. If you ask me, the dude in the Marmite jar looks more like Russell Brand, a member of the Doobie Brothers or Joaquin Phoenix (the "crazy" bearded Joaquin). 

Seriously though, I've just about had it with the Jesus food sightings. Listen up people, Jesus is not going to appear to you in a form of Cheeto, grilled cheese sandwich or a flipping Kit Kat Bar (despite the Oh-So-Convincing pictures below). So please stop imagining Jesus every time you grill up your grease fest or shove a chocolate bar down your throat. It's not happening. And don't even get me started on the crying Virgin Mary sightings. 

Cheeto Jesus or Sasquatch? You decide.

Jesus (a.k.a. the crispy cookie center) looks pretty pissed about being trapped in a Kit Kat.

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