I did watch a little bit of The Real Housewives of New Jersey (a sure sign that I've hit rock bottom) and while I just can't get into it, I am mesmerized by Danielle, the plastic-faced 45-year old cougar who brings to mind shades of Audrey Hepburn and Princess Diana with her classy tales of phone sex with mystery Internet strangers and propositioning her 26-year old boyfriend (looks like he's 40!) with bathroom sex at a classy New Jersey restaurant in between the salad and the entree course.
Oh New Jersey Housewives, you will never fill that gap that is the American Idol Tuesday and Wednesday night time slot, no matter how much tacky bathroom sex you have.
I guess I'll just have to hold my breath for I'm A Celebrity Get me Outta Here. Because you know I'll be watching that shit. In the meantime, enjoy the demure and enchanting Danielle wax seductively with her boy toy Guido over some sourdough rolls and Turning Leaf Chardonnay.