Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Cirqe de la "Kiss my Ass"

With "Spring Break" just around the corner, our family still has not planned our vacation. Last year we braved the elements in a 24-foot RV, and while it was great to get-back-to nature, we simply aren't what you would called a rugged family. After day four I smelled like a bonfire and I just don't do well with river sand in my bed at night.

I came 'this-close' to booking a 5 day cruise to Mexico but naturally the procrastinator in me took over. Good thing too, considering Americans are being shot left and right in the streets of Mexico. Sure we'd probably be safe snorkeling off the coast of Cabo - but you never know when a drug dealer with a vendetta might feel the need to do some "American Spearfishing."

A few days ago we bit the bullet and settled on Vegas. Despite the fact that we have some comp rooms at one of the nicest hotels in town, I'm sure we will still manage to blow a shitload of cash on food, drinks and other stuff (i.e. overpriced hotel gift shop crap for the kids). One of the main reasons for our trip is to see the "Beatles Love" Cirque de Soleil show. Turns out that these tickets start at $155 each, and we are taking the kids. Those Cirque de Soleil acrobatic fuckers better be able to spin on their fingertips while their big toe is stuffed in their ass during "Strawberry Fields Forever" for the $600 we'll be shelling out. Seriously, somebody in a blue body suit better be giving me a foot rub while attending to my martini-drip during the ENTIRE show.
The rest of the time I plan on lounging poolside with my "not ready for summertime" body, a margarita in my left hand, my Kindle in my right while screaming at my kids to stop splashing. Who knows, perhaps Tom and I will feel adventurous and get our vows renewed at the drive-thru Elvis chapel.

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