Thursday, July 24, 2008

Email of the Day: Project Runway does Ace Ventura Insane Ballerina Couture

From: Parker@Don'
Re: Project Runway

I am having one of those days where I am so busy and still sick, fatter than ever and just ordered a $15 piece of fish from the French Restaurant upstairs (plus $2 tip) that is just so-so. Also, everyone is so f*&king cheerful today, with my current attitude I should be wearing a t-shirt that says "Bite Me" (size XXL). I especially hate those friendly strangers in the elevator and really make a concerted effort to not ride in an elevator with anyone else. I'm nice. 

I have a  report due like an hour ago, but first things first:

Project Runway completely rocked last night. Loooved it - starting with Heidi's braid. It looked so cute on her, I may have to try it in my own hair however I am pretty sure I will end up looking demented and more like a homeless person than a chick doing pretty good for pushing 40. Such a great challenge watching the skinny models run around the fabric store like they were in a bakery and Tim Gunn had just told them that scientists had just discovered that chocolate eclairs aren't fattening. The brown fabric that the 3 models inexplicably picked was totally shiteous. I'm surebert, get some black jersey, black tulle and some sequins and be done with it. Also, thankkkkkkss for the peacock feathers.

Is it me or does Michael Kors get gayer and gayer each episode? He is slowly morphing into a 50 year old Long Island garden club housewife. I do love his comments however. Natalie  Portman could not have been any cuter, she looked like she weighed barely a buck and was so sweet - definitely the 'anti Brooke Hogan. 

The designer "Suede"(who annoyingly talks in 3rd person throughout) won the challenge with a dress that Heidi said she would have to be 20 years younger to wear. If  Heidi, who could not possibly look bad in anything, couldn't get away with wearing it,  than I can't help that think that in that dress I would look eerily like Jim Carey in Ace Ventura where he goes to the mental institution.

To: Parker@Don'
Re: Project Runway

I loved it too. Ellie and I literally sat in a catatonic state throughout the entire show. While I actually liked "Suede's" red and white criss-cross ballerina wear (which apparently is now available online at on me it would look like a used chubby Tampax with a blonde wig. (That's hot). As for Heidi's braid. I'm pretty sure she had a cast of thousands working on her hair and makeup. If I tried to braid my hair like that, my arms would cramp after the first 10 seconds and I'm sure I'd end up looking like Vince Neil with a rats nest on his head. 

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